**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my vag is so smooth its legendary
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
