i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
