I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
