I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
