First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
