they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
