FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
