if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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