Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
