i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
