dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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