Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
