he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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