Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Randomize
