Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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