I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
