All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
