we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
