Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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