What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
