I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
