Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
