yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
