Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
