is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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