Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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