I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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