bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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