then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
