you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
