In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
