Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
how drunk are you?
Several
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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