You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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