Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
