the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
