i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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