what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
