i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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