Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
