.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
