It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
