Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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