Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
