Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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