he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
