I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
