the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
