is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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