Nicole vs. Life
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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