Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Send help, water and tortillas.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
